Friday, January 29, 2010
Incursion in the Past
This week we have completed several big projects: finished and printed some albums, created several postcards, mailed pictures, and we had to go on. We digitized old photos, updated our genealogy tree, and rediscovered my adolescence journals. I have seven journals, filled with poems and other rambles. Some are cheesy, some have amazing insights, and there are over 100 of them. The funny thing is that I started writing poems way before I met Brian Morgan. Some poems are birthday or wedding wishes that I read out loud with audience... how daring I was back then.
Most of them I forgot I wrote... but my mom didn't. I wrote many poems for my mom and my dad for their birthdays or anniversaries. And they are pretty sweet:)
The reason I loved to go back and read what was on my mind when I was a teenager, is that I see God in every corner of my mind. I have cheesy love poems... I was infatuated with a friend my age from church, and we rarely talked, but we smiled a lot at each other and he gave me flowers for special occasions. The infatuation disappeared but those memories from adolescence still make me smile. I was so eager to learn about God, to be free and nourish long lasting friendships... and be happy.
Most of them I forgot I wrote... but my mom didn't. I wrote many poems for my mom and my dad for their birthdays or anniversaries. And they are pretty sweet:)
Dragului meu Gradinar
23 August 2002
Acum 18 ani m-ai sadit pe mine
-o violeta
m-ai sadit in gradina ta
aproape de fereastra camerei tale
ca sa-mi veghezi cresterea.
Nu stiu prea bine cum ai vazut tu lumea prin ochii mei,
dar sa-ti spun cum am inteles-o:
M-ai asezat intr-un pamant fertil
de unde am putut sa-mi iau seva hranitoare
si n-a fost nevoie de ingrasamant artificial!
nu m-ai ingradit
si-am crescut cat am putut de mult
(de asta-s asa inalta)
am putut sa simt vantul si ploaia
mangaindu-mi petalele si frunzele
M-ai lasat sa privesc soarele
si sa-i zambesc
ca sa-mi pot colora obrajii violeti,
dar mai presus de toate
L-ai last pe Gradinarul Suprem
sa ma ingrijeasca!
Pentru asta iti multumesc!
La multi ani mami!
Cu multa dragoste,
Violeta
Tatalui meu gradinar
24 August 2002
Acum 18 ani
ai ajutat un gradinar sa planteze o violeta
Eu am fost floarea
tu si mama - cei doi gradinari
Multumesc ca ati hotarat impreuna
unde sa ma asezati
cu ce sa ma hraniti
(...cateodata exagerat - nu mi-e foame asa des!)
Iar tu,
ca un gradinar puternic
ai stiut unde sa-mi tii umbrela
pe timp de gradina
ca sa ma feresti de strivire
Iar cand eram dogorita de soare
tu si mama
ati stiut sa ma priviti cu incredere
m-ati incurajat si m-ati iubit!
Tie iti multmesc ca esti tatal meu
dar pentru ca mi-ai indreptat atentia
asupra Tatalui meu - Creatorul
Iti multumesc de doua ori!
La multi ani tata!
Violeta
The reason I loved to go back and read what was on my mind when I was a teenager, is that I see God in every corner of my mind. I have cheesy love poems... I was infatuated with a friend my age from church, and we rarely talked, but we smiled a lot at each other and he gave me flowers for special occasions. The infatuation disappeared but those memories from adolescence still make me smile. I was so eager to learn about God, to be free and nourish long lasting friendships... and be happy.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Laughter and fun
I have been having a blast lately.
First, when Conrad took a fall in front of the printing shop on the icy steps, then when we were playing Remi with my parents, and Conrad and my mom were being goofy: my mom spacey and cute, Conrad silly, communicating non-verbally ...inevitably being funny.
My dad is very ticklish... and so we are easily entertained when it's -20 degrees Celsius outside.
The reward for translating peace and acceptance in the extended family is priceless.
First, when Conrad took a fall in front of the printing shop on the icy steps, then when we were playing Remi with my parents, and Conrad and my mom were being goofy: my mom spacey and cute, Conrad silly, communicating non-verbally ...inevitably being funny.
My dad is very ticklish... and so we are easily entertained when it's -20 degrees Celsius outside.
The reward for translating peace and acceptance in the extended family is priceless.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
It's been three years since we met
What is love?
The memories two people share together, the respect and admiration two people have for each other, the way they miss each other during the day when they aren't around one another. And "in the end, only kindness matters" …this is the line of a song that I don't remember anymore.
Conrad likes to opens the car door for my mom when she gets in, and she giggles every time, because this is such a little and significant sign of respect that she hasn't seen in real life anywhere around her; when young men were learning to be gallant they didn't have cars to be taken in considerations as contexts when one could be gallant.
Why did I fall in love with Conrad so fast?
Because he was so real, so honest, so unique. We clicked in the way we saw the world and each other. And we had fun, a lot of fun in those first months. When I was with Conrad I never wondered if I should be somewhere else. I knew he isn't perfect. But I also knew that I wasn't perfect either (but now I am:-P). And his gentle spirit always invited me to be straightforward, to take my time when I needed, speak up when I had to, and to be forgiven as needed.
What I love about Conrad is that he is a man of peace. He softens my heart with his love. I am more of a brain, eyes on the target, on righteousness, focus, to bring the best to the table and keep my promise even if it's not in my advantage anymore. We complete each other so well, even if sometimes I feel like I'm carrying a man's burdens. I am learning to be at peace with it, and do what God created me do best.
I know I challenge Conrad to be more that he thinks he is. And sometimes I get frustrated with him, but oh, I love him so very much, every day more.
Sometimes, when I am not in my best "roughing around" shape, I ask Conrad to "be nice to me". When he is kind to me the world is at peace in my heart. And I can see each other in our eighties, obviously still kissing but with no stamina to chase each other around the house (never say never), but with him still telling me that I'm beautiful, and me still making him lunch, cleaning his shirts and reading side by side on the porch.
It has been exactly three years since I met and fell in love with Conrad. And seen from the outside, our relationship was absolutely crazy. Conrad proposed to me in about 6 weeks and I said yes with all my heart. I was not the rushing type. This certainty of mine about marrying Conrad was rather unusual, and yet, I was at peace with it. It had been challenged upfront by my best friend Oana. And because I knew and felt her love for me, I gathered my thoughts and explained to the the unexplainable. It took me a few days to search my soul, take all her questions seriously (I don't remember the details, but I know it drained me to search every corner of my heart), and I got together with her and reassured her that my love for Conrad is true and real, and when I confront it with my love for God, there is peace. (Oana was half way around the globe when I was getting married in Cluj, but she was my maid of honor).
Now back to Conrad. Do I love him just the way he is? In essence yes. Definitely. But I find it ingrained in me to bring out the best in him, by all the means God enriched me with. With patience and love. With wisdom and wit.
There is still plenty electricity between us, and that's a lot of fun, but in the low key days, love is when Conrad draws me a bath and rubs my back, when he kisses my tears when I'm sad, when he just holds me in his arms, when he dances silly just to make me smile, when he rubs my feet, when he makes me a latte, when he sits next to me even when we have no words to say… I don't know if I adapted to Conrad's way of showing me love, or if I always wanted to be loved like that and Conrad was my perfect mate made in heaven. Love is when I smile at Conrad even when I'm sad, love is when I cook dinner even when I can barely stand on my feet because I had such a hard day at work, love is when I give Conrad another chance, when I forgive him, when I believe in him, when I treat him with respect...
I had to reason with Conrad again recently to help him understand something that I thought he should have known already, because I told him, because I hate to repeat myself, because he should be intuitive sometimes. But then he did hear me, and apologized, and tried to comfort me the best he knew how. And in a weird way, I very much agree with the saying: "better late than never".
I said it many times, that Conrad is my best friend, my buddy, my "perfectly different than me" friend, I feel like I can conquer the world, and that I can achieve professional satisfaction and success, that my mind and emotions can be stretched like crazy for God and for my family, and I am very determined to succeed and survive, and maybe Conrad is different than me in some areas, but that makes him such a perfect partner in life for me. He is my funny, creative, supportive best friend. And I can't have enough of him, and him of me. I rest in his steady love for me… God has blessed us greatly because he prepared us for each other.
The memories two people share together, the respect and admiration two people have for each other, the way they miss each other during the day when they aren't around one another. And "in the end, only kindness matters" …this is the line of a song that I don't remember anymore.
Conrad likes to opens the car door for my mom when she gets in, and she giggles every time, because this is such a little and significant sign of respect that she hasn't seen in real life anywhere around her; when young men were learning to be gallant they didn't have cars to be taken in considerations as contexts when one could be gallant.
Why did I fall in love with Conrad so fast?
Because he was so real, so honest, so unique. We clicked in the way we saw the world and each other. And we had fun, a lot of fun in those first months. When I was with Conrad I never wondered if I should be somewhere else. I knew he isn't perfect. But I also knew that I wasn't perfect either (but now I am:-P). And his gentle spirit always invited me to be straightforward, to take my time when I needed, speak up when I had to, and to be forgiven as needed.
What I love about Conrad is that he is a man of peace. He softens my heart with his love. I am more of a brain, eyes on the target, on righteousness, focus, to bring the best to the table and keep my promise even if it's not in my advantage anymore. We complete each other so well, even if sometimes I feel like I'm carrying a man's burdens. I am learning to be at peace with it, and do what God created me do best.
I know I challenge Conrad to be more that he thinks he is. And sometimes I get frustrated with him, but oh, I love him so very much, every day more.
Sometimes, when I am not in my best "roughing around" shape, I ask Conrad to "be nice to me". When he is kind to me the world is at peace in my heart. And I can see each other in our eighties, obviously still kissing but with no stamina to chase each other around the house (never say never), but with him still telling me that I'm beautiful, and me still making him lunch, cleaning his shirts and reading side by side on the porch.
It has been exactly three years since I met and fell in love with Conrad. And seen from the outside, our relationship was absolutely crazy. Conrad proposed to me in about 6 weeks and I said yes with all my heart. I was not the rushing type. This certainty of mine about marrying Conrad was rather unusual, and yet, I was at peace with it. It had been challenged upfront by my best friend Oana. And because I knew and felt her love for me, I gathered my thoughts and explained to the the unexplainable. It took me a few days to search my soul, take all her questions seriously (I don't remember the details, but I know it drained me to search every corner of my heart), and I got together with her and reassured her that my love for Conrad is true and real, and when I confront it with my love for God, there is peace. (Oana was half way around the globe when I was getting married in Cluj, but she was my maid of honor).
Now back to Conrad. Do I love him just the way he is? In essence yes. Definitely. But I find it ingrained in me to bring out the best in him, by all the means God enriched me with. With patience and love. With wisdom and wit.
There is still plenty electricity between us, and that's a lot of fun, but in the low key days, love is when Conrad draws me a bath and rubs my back, when he kisses my tears when I'm sad, when he just holds me in his arms, when he dances silly just to make me smile, when he rubs my feet, when he makes me a latte, when he sits next to me even when we have no words to say… I don't know if I adapted to Conrad's way of showing me love, or if I always wanted to be loved like that and Conrad was my perfect mate made in heaven. Love is when I smile at Conrad even when I'm sad, love is when I cook dinner even when I can barely stand on my feet because I had such a hard day at work, love is when I give Conrad another chance, when I forgive him, when I believe in him, when I treat him with respect...
I had to reason with Conrad again recently to help him understand something that I thought he should have known already, because I told him, because I hate to repeat myself, because he should be intuitive sometimes. But then he did hear me, and apologized, and tried to comfort me the best he knew how. And in a weird way, I very much agree with the saying: "better late than never".
I said it many times, that Conrad is my best friend, my buddy, my "perfectly different than me" friend, I feel like I can conquer the world, and that I can achieve professional satisfaction and success, that my mind and emotions can be stretched like crazy for God and for my family, and I am very determined to succeed and survive, and maybe Conrad is different than me in some areas, but that makes him such a perfect partner in life for me. He is my funny, creative, supportive best friend. And I can't have enough of him, and him of me. I rest in his steady love for me… God has blessed us greatly because he prepared us for each other.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The account of the last few days
After four days in Venice we took the plane back to Cluj where the weather was sunny and warm. We hopped on a bus and went to Oana and David. There Oana and Delia were preparing an amazing dinner and later on Carmen, Rares and Coco arrived to have dinner with us. We were tired but very happy to spend the evening with friends. (Oana: the baked potatoes were the best ever we had in Cluj)
I realize that I didn't take a single picture while we were in Cluj. Very strange. We stayed in Delia's cozy apartment. She is one amazing woman… not though what she does but because of the kindness she does things with. You may understand what I mean if you have ever been welcomed by Delia's warm voice and peaceful presence.
While in Cluj we relaxed after the many walking hours through Venice. We had dinner with Dan and Andreia, held baby Luca in our arms, chatted over some glasses of white wine… and spent a normal day visiting with friends.
The next day I got to babysit Luca all my myself while Andreia and Dan went shopping. He was most well behaved. Luca slept through the 2 hours I had to watch him. He is soooo sweet. I kept kissing his soft forehead. He is so lovable! Oh, this bundle of love, innocence, helplessness, cuteness… and I'm his auntie. I don't know what the future holds for us, and it's rather sad to think that I won't be close by to see him change from day to day, from month to month… and to sing to him, to tell him stories, but I know his parents love him deeply and are doing their best to offer him the best childhood. God, please watch over Luca and his parents, and fill their life with abundant grace and love. Make Luca a brave man, kind and strong, with a deep faith in You, faith that can move mountains.
Conrad got to see Liviu and Mate while I was with Luca. Guys stuff. And the next day we went to Demmers Tea House in the Central Park to wish happy birthday to young Liviu. (It has been three years since Conrad got to Romania for the first time.) It was an interesting experience to meet new people, different people, friends of Liviu's. Afterwards we walked to the bus station in the snow and took the bus home. We used to walk through the central park in the winter when we first met, Conrad and I. So we traced back some sweet memories together.
We also visited Starbucks a few times. Once we were bored and we went there to have tea and play Scrabble. It was snowing outside. and we weren't in a rush anywhere. It was strange and pleasant at the same time.
So we spent 4 nights in Venice, 4 night in Cluj, and then we headed to the mountains, in Piatra Neamt again where we stayed for three nights. It snowed every day while there. Everything is still while and cold up there. And quiet and beautiful. You can hear dogs barking from time to time, horses pulling sleighs on the road of ice, and see the smoke coming out the chimney tops.
We watched Pixar movies with my parents, we went for walks down the road in the village, visited with cousins, went up in the city and had a ride with the tele-gondola. It was a fun time…
And now we are back in Galati. I took a nice long bath… had dinner, Conrad gave my dad a back massage, and here I am writing down what I've been doing the last few days.
In a few weeks we'll be back in California. A new year, a new beginning awaits around the corner.
I realize that I didn't take a single picture while we were in Cluj. Very strange. We stayed in Delia's cozy apartment. She is one amazing woman… not though what she does but because of the kindness she does things with. You may understand what I mean if you have ever been welcomed by Delia's warm voice and peaceful presence.
While in Cluj we relaxed after the many walking hours through Venice. We had dinner with Dan and Andreia, held baby Luca in our arms, chatted over some glasses of white wine… and spent a normal day visiting with friends.
The next day I got to babysit Luca all my myself while Andreia and Dan went shopping. He was most well behaved. Luca slept through the 2 hours I had to watch him. He is soooo sweet. I kept kissing his soft forehead. He is so lovable! Oh, this bundle of love, innocence, helplessness, cuteness… and I'm his auntie. I don't know what the future holds for us, and it's rather sad to think that I won't be close by to see him change from day to day, from month to month… and to sing to him, to tell him stories, but I know his parents love him deeply and are doing their best to offer him the best childhood. God, please watch over Luca and his parents, and fill their life with abundant grace and love. Make Luca a brave man, kind and strong, with a deep faith in You, faith that can move mountains.
Conrad got to see Liviu and Mate while I was with Luca. Guys stuff. And the next day we went to Demmers Tea House in the Central Park to wish happy birthday to young Liviu. (It has been three years since Conrad got to Romania for the first time.) It was an interesting experience to meet new people, different people, friends of Liviu's. Afterwards we walked to the bus station in the snow and took the bus home. We used to walk through the central park in the winter when we first met, Conrad and I. So we traced back some sweet memories together.
We also visited Starbucks a few times. Once we were bored and we went there to have tea and play Scrabble. It was snowing outside. and we weren't in a rush anywhere. It was strange and pleasant at the same time.
So we spent 4 nights in Venice, 4 night in Cluj, and then we headed to the mountains, in Piatra Neamt again where we stayed for three nights. It snowed every day while there. Everything is still while and cold up there. And quiet and beautiful. You can hear dogs barking from time to time, horses pulling sleighs on the road of ice, and see the smoke coming out the chimney tops.
We watched Pixar movies with my parents, we went for walks down the road in the village, visited with cousins, went up in the city and had a ride with the tele-gondola. It was a fun time…
And now we are back in Galati. I took a nice long bath… had dinner, Conrad gave my dad a back massage, and here I am writing down what I've been doing the last few days.
In a few weeks we'll be back in California. A new year, a new beginning awaits around the corner.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
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