It's been three years since we met

What is love?

The memories two people share together, the respect and admiration two people have for each other, the way they miss each other during the day when they aren't around one another. And "in the end, only kindness matters" …this is the line of a song that I don't remember anymore.

Conrad likes to opens the car door for my mom when she gets in, and she giggles every time, because this is such a little and significant sign of respect that she hasn't seen in real life anywhere around her; when young men were learning to be gallant they didn't have cars to be taken in considerations as contexts when one could be gallant.

Why did I fall in love with Conrad so fast?

Because he was so real, so honest, so unique. We clicked in the way we saw the world and each other. And we had fun, a lot of fun in those first months. When I was with Conrad I never wondered if I should be somewhere else. I knew he isn't perfect. But I also knew that I wasn't perfect either (but now I am:-P). And his gentle spirit always invited me to be straightforward, to take my time when I needed, speak up when I had to, and to be forgiven as needed.

What I love about Conrad is that he is a man of peace. He softens my heart with his love. I am more of a brain, eyes on the target, on righteousness, focus, to bring the best to the table and keep my promise even if it's not in my advantage anymore. We complete each other so well, even if sometimes I feel like I'm carrying a man's burdens. I am learning to be at peace with it, and do what God created me do best.
I know I challenge Conrad to be more that he thinks he is. And sometimes I get frustrated with him, but oh, I love him so very much, every day more.

Sometimes, when I am not in my best "roughing around" shape, I ask Conrad to "be nice to me". When he is kind to me the world is at peace in my heart. And I can see each other in our eighties, obviously still kissing but with no stamina to chase each other around the house (never say never), but with him still telling me that I'm beautiful, and me still making him lunch, cleaning his shirts and reading side by side on the porch.

It has been exactly three years since I met and fell in love with Conrad. And seen from the outside, our relationship was absolutely crazy. Conrad proposed to me in about 6 weeks and I said yes with all my heart. I was not the rushing type. This certainty of mine about marrying Conrad was rather unusual, and yet, I was at peace with it. It had been challenged upfront by my best friend Oana. And because I knew and felt her love for me, I gathered my thoughts and explained to the the unexplainable. It took me a few days to search my soul, take all her questions seriously (I don't remember the details, but I know it drained me to search every corner of my heart), and I got together with her and reassured her that my love for Conrad is true and real, and when I confront it with my love for God, there is peace. (Oana was half way around the globe when I was getting married in Cluj, but she was my maid of honor).

Now back to Conrad. Do I love him just the way he is? In essence yes. Definitely. But I find it ingrained in me to bring out the best in him, by all the means God enriched me with. With patience and love. With wisdom and wit.

There is still plenty electricity between us, and that's a lot of fun, but in the low key days, love is when Conrad draws me a bath and rubs my back, when he kisses my tears when I'm sad, when he just holds me in his arms, when he dances silly just to make me smile, when he rubs my feet, when he makes me a latte, when he sits next to me even when we have no words to say… I don't know if I adapted to Conrad's way of showing me love, or if I always wanted to be loved like that and Conrad was my perfect mate made in heaven. Love is when I smile at Conrad even when I'm sad, love is when I cook dinner even when I can barely stand on my feet because I had such a hard day at work, love is when I give Conrad another chance, when I forgive him, when I believe in him, when I treat him with respect...

I had to reason with Conrad again recently to help him understand something that I thought he should have known already, because I told him, because I hate to repeat myself, because he should be intuitive sometimes. But then he did hear me, and apologized, and tried to comfort me the best he knew how. And in a weird way, I very much agree with the saying: "better late than never".

I said it many times, that Conrad is my best friend, my buddy, my "perfectly different than me" friend, I feel like I can conquer the world, and that I can achieve professional satisfaction and success, that my mind and emotions can be stretched like crazy for God and for my family, and I am very determined to succeed and survive, and maybe Conrad is different than me in some areas, but that makes him such a perfect partner in life for me. He is my funny, creative, supportive best friend. And I can't have enough of him, and him of me. I rest in his steady love for me… God has blessed us greatly because he prepared us for each other.